5 Things I’ve Learned From Losing Friends

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blow it
Picture by Wendy (smkybear: Flickr)

1. Don’t Take the Friends You do Have for Granted

In high school, friends are a dime a dozen, but there’s always that tight circle of real friends: your “ride-or-die hoes”. These are the people you truly care about. Don’t take these friends for granted because after school is out, anything can happen. People move away, go to college, start a career, and get married; just because you’re not hanging out daily like you used to doesn’t mean your friendship is over. Treasure the time you spend with these people. If they’re your true friends, any time you spend with them will feel just like old times.

 

2. It’s Never too Late to Start Fresh

Sometimes life deals us a bad hand. Shit happens. One day you might find yourself alone in a cheap apartment with no friends, or married with three kids and a full-time job. It’s never too late to put yourself out there. Reach out to your old friends, volunteer places, go to the bookstore or a coffee shop, anywhere social, and start talking to people. It’s not too late to make new friends or to revive old friendships.

 

3. Accept That People Change

It’s inevitable that some friendships will eventually come to an end. Our lives are full of countless forks in the road, and sometimes your friends will decide to take a right when you need to go left. If this happens, take a step back and think about what happened. A lot of the time you’ll realize it was for the best. Try your best to break it off clean and on a happy note. There’s always time to rekindle a dead relationship later when things settle down.

 

4. Sometimes we Must Take the Road Less Traveled by

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Picture by Jordan Richmond [jrproductions2012: Flickr]
Remember those forks in the road from the previous section? The decisions you make will influence your future. If you take a wrong turn somewhere, don’t worry about it. Even if a friend is lost in the process, just remember that life goes on. There will be more chances to make friends. Something as simple as changing your college major or getting a different job could be what leads you to finding a new best friend or even the person you might fall in love with.

“…I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

–Robert Frost – “The Road Not Taken”

 

5. Learn to Love Yourself

This is the most important thing. If you’re the kind of person who has to constantly be in a relationship or has to have people around them at all times, more than likely you’re not comfortable with yourself. It’s okay to be by yourself sometimes. Take a day off and spend the entire day alone. Watch TV, surf the internet, read a book, play a video game, draw a picture, lay on the bed and think to yourself for a while. It might sound contradictory, but as soon as you stop trying so hard to make friends or to fall in love, it will happen on its own. People know when you’re trying too hard. Just live your life, be comfortable with yourself, and things will fall into place in due time.

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. Cheryl Coronel says

    I loved your article on friendship. My dad told me I would be able to count true friends on one hand. I thought he was just crazy..but his words have turned out to be so true, Good read..

    1. Sir Dalski says

      I didn’t believe that either, but now that I have graduated from college I realize how true that statement really is. Thank you for the comment!

  2. Cheryl Coronel says

    I really needed to reread this..thanks again

  3. Julie G says

    I turned 52 today and am just relaxing this evening, listening to some oldies, and thinking about old friends. One in particular, really. My best friend for most of growing up years ..we lost touch for years until she returned home to care for elderly father…then she was diagnosed with cancer and has been waging a terrible war with it for about three years. I have several good friends that I lost to death, and one to prison. The thought of losing another one turns my stomach inside out, but that’s life…it still hurts, though. One thing that has helped me is finding a good, loving church. I have so many great friends from church. Anyway, thank you for sharing your thoughts and may you always have good friends.

    1. Sir Dalski says

      I can only imagine. Thank you so much for reading and for the thoughtful comment.

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